ADVENTURES IN BABYSITTING (1987)
By Shannon Roberts, 02-13-09
I don’t get embarrassed very easily or very often. On the few occasions when I do end up feeling any sort of shame, I suffer from a very odd response. Remembering embarrassment, replaying scenes of humiliation or shame, fills me with an overwhelming need to do backflips, or any sort of gymnastic type trick really. Unfortunately, I cannot do backflips, nor can I do back handsprings. I can do a passable cartwheel, which will usually suffice.
Where, you may be wondering, can she possibly be going with this? Well, if I were Elizabeth Shue and I happened to pop in the DVD of Adventures in Babysitting, I would need to do a lot of cartwheels.
You remember Adventures in Babysitting, right? Do you remember it well? Cause all I remembered was “GET OUTTA MY HOUSE!”
We open with our heroine, Chris (Shue), getting ready for a hot date (wearing a fantastic example of 80’s fashion) lip-synching to “And Then He Kissed Me.” Alas, her hot date, a douche who drives a car with a license plate that reads “so cool,” cancels on her, and, for wont of a better plan, Chris agrees to babysit for a local family. So far, so good. Sara, the young girl Chris is hired to watch, is obsessed with the comic book character Thor. Brad, her older brother, is obsessed with Chris, and his friend Daryl (played by Anthony Rapp) is obsessed with sex. When Chris’ friend Brenda (Penelope Ann Miller) calls from the city bus station desperately in need of rescue, Chris has no choice to pile the kids into her mom’s station wagon and embark on a collision course with wackiness!
From a hook-handed tow truck driver with a big heart but an unfaithful wife, to a car thief with a big heart but a set of mob ties, to a drunk girl with a big heart but a bigger boyfriend, to a frat boy with a big heart and a pair of loafers, to a Playboy centerfold with big…, to a mechanic with flowing blonde hair (Vincent Phillip D’Onofrio) who doesn’t know he has a big heart, you can’t help but wonder what won’t go wrong for these poor youngsters.
And, of course, who could forget the Babysitting Blues ? I don’t really need to say anything more about that, do I?
Despite the fact that this wasn’t a high point for anyone involved (except, perhaps, “Huge Guy” played expertly by Kevin Lund) and despite the utter ridiculousness of most of the situations our ragtag bunch of youngsters find themselves in, there is some genuine suspense; although, admittedly, much of this may have been residual, left over from the countless times I watched it as a child.
My suggestion: if you feel a need to revisit Adventures in Babysitting, get a couple of friends, a bag of popcorn, and a bottle of the booze of your choice. Take a shot every time they say the word “babysitting.”
And remember: Don’t. Fuck. With the babysitter!!
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