MAKING MR. RIGHT (1987)
Yeah, sure. We all remember the big ones. We can all quote The Breakfast Club, we all remember Nicholas Cage’s bizarrely coiffed chest hair in Valley Girl, and I’ll bet dollars to doughnuts that although the name Wallace Shawn may not mean that much to you, the exclamation “Inconceivable!” most certainly will. But what of those magical movies of our (or at least my) formative years that have fallen into the dusty crevices of memory and lain, forgotten, collecting cobwebs? This is the story of one such film.
A few weeks ago I was scouring the “4 for $20″ table at Blockbuster. I had three picked out, and as I was searching for the fourth, my friend called and suggested we play the ever popular “make up a title based on the blurb” game. I read the back of the boxes; he made up titles. I grabbed a box at random and started reading the back, but before I got halfway through the synopsis, a shaft of light fell onto one of those forgotten corners of my memory. Suddenly I was overcome with an image of John Malkovich floating through space as The Turtles’ “Happy Together” swelled and the credits rolled. How could this have happened? How could I have forgotten the whimsical story of a Publicist, a Scientist, and an Android that I had so loved in my youth? How, how could I have forgotten Making Mr. Right?
In case you, like I, have forgotten what Making Mr. Right is about the story is as follows: A sassy but broken-hearted PR lady Frankie Stone, played by Ann Magnuson, signs on to publicize an android in order to keep the project from losing its government funding. Dr. Jeff Peters, played by John Malkovich, has created the android Ulysses, also played by John Malkovich, for the purpose of deep space exploration. Now, here’s where the hilarity ensues. Frankie’s attempts to teach the android some basic social skills (which, incidentally, his creator sorely lacks) have the unexpected side effect of putting our robotic friend in touch with his feelings, leading him to fall in love with our plucky heroine. And, wouldn’t you know it?, she discovers she loves him too!
Really, though, why wouldn’t she? Especially when you consider the fact that according to this film all the human men are either philandering sleazeballs or painfully awkward misanthropists. Here’s one of my favorite parts of this whole scenario: just in case the audience was wondering how, and if, for that matter, our lovers would be able to be, well, lovers, we are treated to a scene where Frankie accidentally gets a full frontal look at Ulysses who then asks him why the doctor felt it necessary to give him (ahem) that. “He thought it would give me confidence.” Apparently our robotics expert figured that even a highly advanced android would be male enough to base his opinion of himself on the size of his robocock. Typical.
It’s safe to say that this film is more than a little dated. There are some fantastic eighties outfits, even more fantastic eighties hair (especially that of Laurie Metcalf who plays a coworker who has a crush on Dr. Peters), and one joke involving a tabloid headline declaring “Princess Di pregnant with android’s baby!” which almost made me cringe. Once you get past that stuff, though, what remains is a fairly charming romance with some genuinely funny moments. If robot John Malkovich trying to figure out the purpose of a diaphragm isn’t comedy gold, I don’t know what is. Also, watch for the brief appearance of a charmingly chubby Christian Clemenson (Boston Legal, The Adventures of Brisco County Jr.). All in all, definitely worth excavating.
- Shannon Roberts, 01-29-09
Comment:
